It's been a while, friends.

It really has been a while since I've blogged. I feel like I never allow myself the luxury of just sitting down and just thinking. I think I'm always in such a rush to go, go, go and finish, finish, finish all the stuff I have to do for school. It really takes a toll on me after a while. Like today for instance, I've done someee homework, but in the big scheme of things, I really havent accomplished much at all, which is kinda of a downer, but I'm justifying it as my lazy Joanne day. After a while, I feel like I just run out of gusto for a project after thinking about it so much. I just need to walk away from it and take a break for a little while.

I really like this Calvin and Hobbes comic that I read a few weeks ago. I feel like this comic just really resonated with me because it just relates so well to me and how I stress out so easily. Last night, J sent me a youtube video on a Francis Chan sermon. It was about marriage and having a Christ centered relationship. It was really good. Granted, I`m not married, but I feel like it anyone can really relate to it, and have it relate to life as a whole. I think it`s true that in our society, having a happy, ``good`` marriage can be portrayed as the `good` Christian thing to do. Yet, it`s not. That`s not our main purpose in a marriage. Our main purpose is to glorify God. Not just in marriages, relationships, but in everything we do. I don`t know if that makes much sense, Francis Chan and his wife Lisa definitely put it better. (Listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRmM0aVADU&feature=related&fb_source=message)

But anyways, I feel like I`ve just really been reminded of this a lot lately. I`ve been boggled down a lot with school plans, etc. and I just need to step back and realize that ultimately, no, it`s not about what we do, etc. It`s not who we are, and it`s not what we`re meant to do. There`s a bigger picture, and that`s to love God, serve God, glorify God. It`s not about me, or this life. It`s about what comes after this.

On Sunday, Pastor John mentioned Phillipians 3:10. I`ve read it again, and I think that the verses which come before and after verse 10 are also very relevant.

Phillipians 3:7-14 reads,

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I think it`s funny how God works. He really chooses the most interesting ways to reveal himself to us, at the most unexpected times. I`ll get to this later. Paul says in these verses that he considers everything worthless except for knowing Christ. He considers them garbage, his accomplishments, etc. compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ. That`s amazing to me. Paul`s life is pretty amazing in itself. I think I`ll save that for another blog.

That part of Paul`s letter is titled `No Confidence in the Flesh` in my Bible, and I think that there`s no better way to put it.

I feel like that`s what Paul`s life is all about, and that`s what I aspire to be like.

Anyways, I feel like God has just really been revealing this to me lately. No confidence in the flesh, putting my hope in things above, and not getting boggled down my earthly things. Again, it`s about Him.

Like I said, God has a funny way of revealing Himself. In a time when I`ve most needed to be reminded that my earthly purpose is to serve Him, and not myself, he chooses Philippians 3 to really hit it home.

The very same verse that I related to a couple years ago as I was writing my grad write up. I referred to these verses as I encouraged my fellow grads to `press on towards the goal` - just like Paul is encouraging the Philippians in his letter - and in this case, encouraging me as well.

Not to mention, the very same verse that this blog is titled after. I titled this blog that title because I knew that ultimately, that is my purpose in life - to press on towards the goal. Yet I don`t think I`ve really fully grasped it til now.

I feel like that`s what life is all about though. Running the race, and maybe stumbling and falling - we might trip over the same things over and again, yet God picks us up again and again - and again. It`s about looking ahead - looking up - and continuing the race that God has set for us.

And here I am, back at this blog, continuing what I started a few years ago.

And I don`t promise I`ll be here everyday, but I intend to be here as much as I can be - to keep track of what God is teaching me and chronicling those struggles and challenges. And if you happen to be reading this, welcome back.

Joanne

It's funny thinking about how parents' rules change as you grow up, and you don't even notice it.

Long time no blog.

I wonder if anyone even reads this anymore...it's been a while since I've written anything worthwhile really. I guess we'll see if it's worthwhile today...

I told my mom I was going to take a nap before we go out for dinner, but somehow, I never got around to it. I cracked open my writing 12 book that I found when I moved to this house, and I've been meaning to read it. There's only a few things in there, it was still nice to read. Sad too. At the time, I thought it was so (for lack of a better word) pointless to write about (for example) the things going on around me at Granville Island (For our fieldtrip). But it's an interesting read now...all of it. That's not to say I didn't enjoy writing...it was really fun..and it was especially nice to have it in grade 12 - since we had a lot of time to just reflect and write, which I love to do. Pictures are one thing, but I think words are another.

I was briefly talking to a friend...and it's crazy that this year's grads are already going grad camping. I can't believe it was only a year ago.

One of my brother's friends was recently over and she graduated from PA too, and K asked her if she liked it and she said, "I LOVED my time there." I don't know how you can't. I mean, if you really take the time to appreciate it for what it was, and the relationships it allows you to build, etc. - I don't think it's possible to not love it.

April 27 last year, I wrote:

Sometimes, its easy to take it for granted - how nice PA is. Man, I'm really going to miss this place. It's weird to think about how life will continue here even though we're gone. How next September, kids are going to come back and continue on with their lives like nothings changed. They'll put on their uniforms, get school supply lists in the mail with their classes...PA has always been such a constant in my life - something I come back to each year, something I know will always be the same. I can't imagine not coming back.

I don't know why that was so sad to read, even though I remember writing it - not to mention, how cheesy it is. I know it's cheesy. No, no it get's better. It's called, "Contemplative Journaling." Haha oh my.

I don't know what it is, it's just this feeling of deep nostalgia for the people, who on any given day...you could just stop and have a deep, meaningful conversation with. I don't know why, but I feel like that's so hard to come by these days.

You know, a year later, after it's all been said and done...

I can look back on it and say, "yeah, that's where it all changed."

Not necessarily my move, but maybe. But definitely graduation. (I guess that's obvious.)

It really wasn't what I expected. I don't know what I expected. Yet here we are, a year later.

I wouldn't say it changed for the worse necessarily (although, in some ways it has), and I wouldn't say that it has changed for the better either (although, again, it some ways, it has). It's just different. Would I go back and do it over again if I could? Yeah, probably. - Which is not to say the last year hasn't been good, or great. Its had its moments - good and bad - just like I'm sure PA had its moments, good and bad.

Well, you know what they say, The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”

2 am and i need to be up at 6.

i am in a ranty mood, so here goes.

i am up because i was doing my colour and lighting homework. i did it ALL day (after errands and an oil change) and i couldnt get it to work. eventually, i just ran out of paint so i had to make do with what i had. i put it all together and it looks like poo because i didn't trace it, so i just cut it. (it worked for the last colour wheel, but this one is more precise...so bad call).

so overall, it looks like poo.

im not re-doing it.

not like i could, even if i wanted to...since i'm not spending another thirty bucks on PAINT. yeah...no.

sooo it sucks, and that is pretty much all i got done today, and A BIT of this other assignment. but barely..it doesn't even count.

wednesday: wasted.

kajdfAFKja goodnight.

(i apologize if you actually took the time to read this nonsense)

:)

Post Secret, and them some.

It really has been a while since I blogged, or I'm having one of those nights - I clicked "view blog" three times when all I really wanted to do was press "New Post."

This post secret really stood out to me.

Lately, I think I've been struggling a lot with mediocrity, and it's helped a lot to finally sit down and sort things out. I think with all the time off from school (a whole TEN DAYS YEAH)...I had a lot of time to just think and...be surrounded with my own thoughts. I guess that's good, but also bad in some ways - since a lot of time in my head sometimes gets me down. If you know me (and you probably do since you're bothering to read this) you'll know I'm a worrier. So a lot of time spent just thinking just means lots of worrying, and I think seeing the negative.

I don't know, it's hard to explain.

Also, I think I'm pretty good at sticking feelings and thoughts to the backburner when I don't want to deal with it, or when it's easier to not deal with it. I guess if anything, I should know by now that that only makes it worse. However, I do it anyway. But I think it was finally time to deal with some things I've been putting on the backburner, and I'm really happy about that.

There's a few things that I've been reminded of, or have read, that just gave me a new mindset and outlook on things. It still blows my mind how powerful words can be, and how they affect me so much. More so than music I think. However, what really blows my mind is how crazy and amazing Jesus' love is, and how comforting the Bible is. It's CRAZY. I love it.

Something I really love: (I think I read this a lot in Trez's house - specifically her bathroom. For some reason I used to try and memorize it while I went potty - haha. I guess after all those times, it stuck.)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

A few other things: (just off the top of my head)

Psalm 34:18, Psalm 37:4 (thanks for the reminder, d)

and lastly,

1 Corinthians 13:7

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

That one is huge.

That is all. (This probably doesn't make much sense..sorry.)

UPDATE:

monday: lab assignment for drafting
tues: history paper w/ pictures
thurs: 3 assignments (materials board, luminaire design and 2 point perspective of room) and 2 sketchbooks due (alllmost done) and in class assignment due

following monday: drafting assignment due (kajdfkajf) and drafting exam
tues: history exam
thurs: design theory exam, and freehand in class assignment

I can't believe I survived tonight!! ONE MORE WEEK.

I also signed up for another class today :) Im happy with that decisions. falling asleep. nightynignt

:)

I have learned a new motto that is slowly getting stuck in my head, "just do it."

I get stressed out A LOT, about things that are coming up and things I cannot help. I always have.

But nowadays, David just says, "just do it."

And you know, that sounds so simple, and at first, I didn't listen, but it makes a lot of sense.

The last couple of days, I've just been trying to take things one step at a time, and it's helping a lot towards my stress levels. You see...my next two weeks are cuhhhrazy :(

monday: lab assignment for drafting
tues: history paper w/ pictures
thurs: 3 assignments (materials board, luminaire design and 2 point perspective of room) and 2 sketchbooks due (alllmost done) and in class assignment due

following monday: drafting assignment due (kajdfkajf) and drafting exam
tues: history exam
thurs: design theory exam, and freehand in class assignment

i guess this post is more for me than anyone else...hahaha, you see, i wouldnt be that stressed IF it was this only this week I had to worry about. HOWEVER, it's not, and the space shows everything I have yet to start on - aka all my exams I have not started studying for since I have been doing other assignments. On the bright side, I did my whole paper today :) I just gotta keep my head on straight these next couple of weeks and it will be okay. I JUST GOTTA DO IT. :)

On a sadder note, I didn't go grocery shopping today, which means I will not have any good snacks at school tomorrow. Silly joanne.

I am so happy though. Despite the homework load and the stress I'm trying to ignore - hahaha.

I hung out with my boooooooooyfriend this weekend, got lots of homework done and saw a bunch of friiiiiiiiiiiiiends the other night :) and therese cried when she saw me. hehehe :) but i also made a lot of new friends, which was soo awesome as well. PLUS, me and carmela dominated the last round of dutch blitz..aka getting a perfect 100 when I had to go. oh ya :)

I am a happy camper :)

Wish me luck and pray hard for my sanity.

lalala

It's one of those nights that I honestly cannot do homework, not matter how hard I try. I try to tell myself that I need to get done, but my subconscious knows that nothing is due tomorrow...and motivation flies out the window.

A friend of mine asked me today, "who are you? Honestly."

I still don't know what he meant by that, as I write this, but it got me thinking. I think it's a hard question to answer, or is that just me? I can't explain it. You know how people always say that we are who we are when nobody's watching, and I guess that's true. I was also reminded recently of how Mr. Dueck would say that we are the person that we are when we crawl into our beds at the end of a long day - nobody around, but ourselves and our thoughts. I guess I've also written before that I think the key to knowing someone is knowing their hopes, their fears, and their aspirations. I tried to re-evaluate those, and I guess that is also true as well.

It's still hard to explain though. I don't know how to. I don't know why I felt like blogging that.

I'm just Joanne, and I can't explain any better than that right now.

That's all I have to say right now.

:)

j: hey david?

d: yeah?

j: why don't i curl my hair?

d: cause it doesn't stay.

j: ...you're ridiculous.

what's up, doc?

Hello, hello....it has been a while friends!

I have been so busy, busy lately. And it's a busy week coming up :( I have a project, an assignment and a presentation all due this week. I'm already in week 8 of 12, so it's getting quite busy..really getting down to crunch time :(

But good news friends, I got 85 on my drafting midterm :) which is the beessstt mark I've ever gotten for that class :) I was so relieved. Plus, I really like how my assignment for freehand this week :) teehee

In other news, another thing I'm really happy/ excited about is: me and David have started reading the Bible together before school whenever we are able to meet in the mornings :) We're starting in Romans and that's pretty cool :) It's a really nice start to our mornings, I think. I think we were inspired by the Psalm post secret that I found and we thought it'd be a good idea to start it too. :)

We also started to play this game where we quiz each other on little facts about ourselves. Each time I get a question wrong, he gets a point, and vice versa. Right now, we are sitting at 8-6 (for David) - but it ain't over til the fat lady sings! We started playing it cause david kept listing facts about me all day and I got jealous. :)

My fav part was when he said, "yesterday, I was trying to think of your favourite colour and I couldn't think of it - but it's cause you don't have one" AWWWW hahaha - I told you I'd blog this, David, so here you go :D

Wish me luck this week, friends!

I haven't been on here in ages..but...

I was on tumblr today, I saw this...and I had to blog it. I la-la-love it. :)

This one time I painted a living room with a girl.

This was a handful of years back. It was about eight months before the huge, flame-out of a breakup. That day, though? That day we painted the living room? It was pretty uneventful. We painted my parents living room for $50 between us and a pizza. That was it. I think we watched Anchorman or something after that.

But it still holds as on of the most indelible memories I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not still in love, it happened, it was good, it ended, and we’ve both moved on. But I’ll never forget that day. Because it’s never, in the long run, about the grand gestures. You can fly across the world and show up on her doorstep with a rose in your teeth and a ring in a little velvet box but I can guarantee you that - more often than not - she’s going to remember the time you built the birdhouse in the back yard, or what have you, a whole lot more.

Life wasn’t meant to be taken in large movements. The next day will inevitably arrive, you’ll sleep, and the moment will have passed. But when you have a hundred thousand small moments, you can step back and appreciate the picture a lot more than metaphorically blowing your load on some grand moment that, in all honesty, look, you’re not Bruce Fucking Springsteen, you’re not going to be able to blow everyone’s mind every single night. You’re not Romeo and/or Juliet. There’s no reason to drink the poison together in some flame-out gesture. So that leaves us with the small stuff. It’s all about the detail.

That’s what love is. Attention to detail.

And the moment will end. And then things will get boring. And it might get a little quiet. And it might all end horribly. And you might hate eachother at the end. And you might walk away from eachother one day and never speak again. But that’s just how it goes.

But she’ll remember the time you held the door open for her on your first date.
She’ll remember the time you laughed at her impression of the landlady.
She’ll remember the time you stayed up all night that first time.
She’ll remember the small things a lot longer than the big ones.

But everything ends. And I’ll tell you why you have to make the small things, the small moments count so much more:

One day, probably a while longer from now, when old age takes ahold of someone, she might just only remember your smile. Everything you ever did together, every second, every moment, every beat, every morning spent in bed, every evening spent together on the sofa, all of that - gone. Everything you ever did will be reduced to the head of a pin. She won’t remember your name. She’ll just remember your smile, and she’ll smile. She won’t know why. It’s a base, gut reaction. But she’ll smile, uncontrollably, and it will come from somewhere so deep as to know that you touched her on a primal, honest, and true level that no scientist, scholar, or savant could everbegin to explain. There is no more. There is nothing else. There is just this: She’ll remember your smile, and she’ll smile.

And you know what? That’s all that really matters in the end.

It's 530 on a Saturday night, and I have one whole sheet to go for drafting. I am getting stressed. However, I went and took pictures for my photography assignment today, so that was good. I havent found a good quatrefoil, but I might just suck it up and hand in the thing that barely looks like a quatrefoil cause I can't find anything else and don't really have time to at this point. I think everything else is pretty good though, which I'm happy about. I even found a greek fret.

Anyways, my stye still hurts, and my mommy says we will go to the doctors on tuesday if it doesn't get any better :( I hope it does though.

On another note: I was reading post secret today and read this:

I think it it's so cute :)

I think that that is...you know, the only word coming to mind is beautiful. HAHAH, which isn't very fitting at all. I think it is awesome though. (Still not a very good word to describe it). But I think it's definitely something that everyone hopes for. I guess that's a little bit of an overstatement. It's something I want at least. :)

However, the nice writing on it reminds me of drafting, which I must return to...unfortunately.

Bye for nowww :)

Good news or bad news first?

Good news, I think I know what my eye infection is.

Bad news, I think it's a stye.

So now, instead of calling what I thought was pink eye, "poonk eye" ('cause of poo), david just calls my eye a pig sty instead. Also, he figures that since it seems like it's taking a while to go away, he might as well name it. So in case you're wondering, my stye's name is SUZY. Suzy the stye. Has a nice ring to it. However, as much as I like the name, I really hate her. So I would like her to go away, ayysaaaap.

Today is Friday.

I was going to go to antique furniture stores today to do the furniture aspect of my photography assignment, but I think I will just stay home and finish my drafting assignment - like a good girl, since it is HUGE. I've only done 1.25 pages (out of 3) and I think it's already been 8 hours or so. So this weekend's gonna be FUN. Plus, it'll give me time to do chores. NOT to mention, nurse my (pig) stye back to health so that little Suzy can leave me alone!!

Also, I finished another week at school. You know what that means?

It MEANS that next week is week 5, which MEANS that...I have 7 more weeks to go. Well, techinically, 8, since the week hasn't started. Potato, potato. Ha ha ha.

Au Revoir!

Good news: Week 4, and I am still passing drafting, which is a good sign.

Bad news: I am not doing as well as I hoped.

Anyways, I think as long as I pass, it's okay. I mean, apparently a lot of people retake it...so I think as long as I keep it up - maybe do a little bit better- I will be okay. I'm 1/3 in, so 8 more weeks to keep my grade up...

I feel really restless right now, so I thought I'd blog it out. I don't know why though. But after measuring, sketching, dimensioning for about 3 hours...I get pretty restless, so anyways, here I am. I've gotten a fair amount of work done this morning though, so I'm pretty happy about that.

I feel like I talk about nothing but school, but that's pretty much all I do these days. It's so time consuming, but not the way SFU was - that was just a pain. And although this can get annoying sometimes, overall, I like it.

I'm pretty glad to be staying home today though, I get to get work done PLUS I'm loading my eye up with antibiotics. I really want to get rid of my eye infection. Oh yeah, I have an eye infection. It's the worst.

Speaking of the worst, I lost my credit card. So I had to call in for a replacement card and cancel my old one :( But it's all good in the hood now.

Also, I want fruit loops. Could definitely go for some fruity loopsies right now. But I can't go out with all this medicine on my eye...it's really ugly. Hahaha.

Anyways, I should get back to work...soon.

Okay, bye :)

Hello, hello.

Turns out...I got a 7 on that assignment...out of 10. Which is lower than my usual standards, but I thought I'd do worse. So I'm pretty happy. Plus, it's the best mark I've heard of so far...SO, I'll leave it at that and be content with it. Also, I got 9/10 on my other assignment for freehand, which I'm also pretty happy about. I'm staying pretty on top of things so far, which is another thing I'm ALSO happy about. I'm pretty happy, in general. Yay :)

However, I have pink eye. D says it's from poo particles in my eye. I beg to differ. Just thought I'd share.

I spent about 7ish hours drafting today, which is pretty long, right? Right. But I enjoyed it. More tomorrrrow!! haha amongst other things. I hope it copies well when I get it copied tomorrow.

:):):):):):):) okay seeeeee ya later alligator!

Just thought I'd check in before I go to sleep tonight...

I had a fun weekend. Seeing everyone on Saturday was so nice. I don't remember the last time all of us girls were together like that. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone.

This'll be a short one, I only got four hours of sleep last night, and I gotta be up early for school tomorrow :(

I just wanted to say that I really, really don't like the assignment I'm handing it tomorrow, but I can't do anything to fix it now. I tried fixing it so many times, but the more times I photocopy it, the lighter it gets, which also makes it suck more. I'm sad. I don't want my first assignment to suck so much, cause I know it's not very good, but I will definitely do better on the next one. I WILL. I am determined. I know I spent at least 10 hours on this one already... :'( I just tell myself that it's the first one and the next one will be better. I hope it's easy to find parking tomorrow.

Ladededa good weekend, another week tomorrow. Yay :) But really, I'm looking forward to it. Maybe not to handing in my assignment, but to find out what's next.

Night peeeepss :)

First blog of 2011, whats up! Well....I'll tell you!

So January 11th. 1/11/11....lalala.

I am extra happy these days, things are going well.

I am LOVING school so far. I mean it's only been two days, but the things seem really interesting and the vibe is just sooo different from SFU. It's hands on and most importantly, I am interested in the stuff I'm learning. If I had to sit through a 7 hour class for communications, I would've probably dropped out after the first week. But as long as my class was for intd, I WANT to go back and learn more. I am enjoying it and I'm excited. I hope I continue to love it when the work load gets crazier. Apparently, homework for my drafting class alone can get up to 40 hours per week. Yes, party. But still, I am excited. :)

Also, I'm dating my best friend. I'm just saying....that's pretty high up there along with how much I am loving school. SOOOO I'm pretty happy about that too :)

Those are the new occurrences in my life.

Also, I'm very, very poor...andd I'm waiting for snow to fall.

I'm going to start my homework. I wonder if it's actually going to snow tonight. Ladededaaaaaa

I want a drafting table.