2 am and i need to be up at 6.

i am in a ranty mood, so here goes.

i am up because i was doing my colour and lighting homework. i did it ALL day (after errands and an oil change) and i couldnt get it to work. eventually, i just ran out of paint so i had to make do with what i had. i put it all together and it looks like poo because i didn't trace it, so i just cut it. (it worked for the last colour wheel, but this one is more precise...so bad call).

so overall, it looks like poo.

im not re-doing it.

not like i could, even if i wanted to...since i'm not spending another thirty bucks on PAINT. yeah...no.

sooo it sucks, and that is pretty much all i got done today, and A BIT of this other assignment. but barely..it doesn't even count.

wednesday: wasted.

kajdfAFKja goodnight.

(i apologize if you actually took the time to read this nonsense)

:)

Post Secret, and them some.

It really has been a while since I blogged, or I'm having one of those nights - I clicked "view blog" three times when all I really wanted to do was press "New Post."

This post secret really stood out to me.

Lately, I think I've been struggling a lot with mediocrity, and it's helped a lot to finally sit down and sort things out. I think with all the time off from school (a whole TEN DAYS YEAH)...I had a lot of time to just think and...be surrounded with my own thoughts. I guess that's good, but also bad in some ways - since a lot of time in my head sometimes gets me down. If you know me (and you probably do since you're bothering to read this) you'll know I'm a worrier. So a lot of time spent just thinking just means lots of worrying, and I think seeing the negative.

I don't know, it's hard to explain.

Also, I think I'm pretty good at sticking feelings and thoughts to the backburner when I don't want to deal with it, or when it's easier to not deal with it. I guess if anything, I should know by now that that only makes it worse. However, I do it anyway. But I think it was finally time to deal with some things I've been putting on the backburner, and I'm really happy about that.

There's a few things that I've been reminded of, or have read, that just gave me a new mindset and outlook on things. It still blows my mind how powerful words can be, and how they affect me so much. More so than music I think. However, what really blows my mind is how crazy and amazing Jesus' love is, and how comforting the Bible is. It's CRAZY. I love it.

Something I really love: (I think I read this a lot in Trez's house - specifically her bathroom. For some reason I used to try and memorize it while I went potty - haha. I guess after all those times, it stuck.)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

A few other things: (just off the top of my head)

Psalm 34:18, Psalm 37:4 (thanks for the reminder, d)

and lastly,

1 Corinthians 13:7

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

That one is huge.

That is all. (This probably doesn't make much sense..sorry.)