I think this is brilliant.

'Speak Now or forever hold your peace' the words said by the preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows.

It's a last chance for protest, a momentt that make's everyone's heart race, and a moment i've always been strangely fascnated by. so many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they'd kept inside for years, like in the movies. In real life, it rarely happens.

Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start what i've begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.

I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. when we didn't say " I Love you" when we should've said "I'm sorry". when we didn't stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help. These songs are made up of words I didn't say when the moment was right in front of me. These songs are open letters. Each is written with a sepcific person in mind, telling them what I meant to tell them in person. To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in December. To my first love who I never thought would be my first heartbreak. To my band. To a mean man I use to be afraid of. To someone who made my world very dark for a while. To a girl who stole something of mine. To someone I forgive for what he said in front of the whole world. Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to inentionally hurt someone. What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you'll stutter and you'll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you are the ones that will haunt you the longest.

So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you'll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying " I could've, but it's too late now"

There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it.

I Don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now.

Love, Taylor

Wednesday, 9:13 pm.

Current update:

Words: 2,203, pages: 7

Tabs open: 13

Going to finish up this paper NOW!

Motivation: last sfu paper, ever.

Tuesday, (technically Wednesday for those of you who are keeping track...who even read this LOL) 12:22 am

12:23 am, pages: 6, words: 2,011

+ very sore shoulders.

I slouch so much when I am working on/ doing my homework. I just hunch over my laptop in a very uncomfortable way. I really, really need a massage...pls? :)

So on my wishlist: a massage, and that I still like my paper in the morning. You know when that happens? I'm kind of in a place where I just rambled and rambled and rambled. It'll be an interesting read tomorrow, but hopefully I'll still like it.

I'm kind of debating what I should do....I'll share.

So anyways, it has to be 8-10 pages, but 2,000-2,5000 words, so reallly...I have enough words PLUS I gotta write a conclusion. So REALLLLY, I don't REALLY have to do two whole pages, but I think I should, right? Right.

My shoulders are killing me as I type this.

I'm calling it a night.

Tomorrow:

-Conclusion
-Works Cited
-Edit (aka hopefully not have to re-write a bunch :() <-- hate when that happens :(

GOODNIGHT!

Also, I have 13 tabs open on this window for all the sources I used. It's REALLY bugging me, but I don't want to have to find them again, and for some reason I can't just link it. AKDJFKAFJ

Tuesday, 7:22 pm.

I don't know why I started my blog with that today, hahaha. However, I think it will be significant in a few hours when I get frustrated with writing my paper and blog another entry.

I have to write a paper for 110 for Wednesday. A 8-10 page paper. It'll be fun.....not.

I have done some research for it though - so that should count for something. For the record, I have written two other papers in the last week and a project, so this one kind of took the back burner. :( Fail. But still as much as I'm dreading it cmns papers > chem.

Anyways, I should really get to it.

....I.am.so.boring.

Alrighttt, here we go.

7:27, pages: 0.

Ladededa, I'm sitting in my 130 lecture. Its actually pretty interesting today since we are talking about "Wireless and Mobile Communication." Its about cellphones and stuff. Plus like I said, ive been pretty productive this week - so I EVEN read the readings before coming to class. CRAZY!

Also, I handed in my last paper for this class today. Man, I can see the endddd.

It's kinda sad that I'm leaving because its like I just got my footing here, you know? I've met people and know where things are - but at the end of the day, it still isn't for me. I just have NO passion for this and I think it would be a shame and a waste to continue, you know??

I think I have two weeks left from day, plus exams. :O

In other news, I have an hour left for today and I'm done for the day. That means, I can go home and do more homework....score.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

It's 3 am

I can't sleep, or I don't feel like sleeping - I don't know why.

Anyways, this is the product of my insomnia.

I used to love fiddling around with html...my shoulders are sore form pouring over my computer though. But anyways, I can't take all the credit. I tend to fiddle around with templates then make it look like the way I want it to.

Anyways, I think it's time to get back into blogging, I really miss it.

But yeah, I should probably sleep.

In other news, it's been a really productive past couple of days which I'm happy about. Two more weeks to go!!

Back to blogging tomorrow.

Goodnight!

blogging my stress away.

There are seriously not enough hours in a day.

It's funny because sometimes - like now - I feel like I have accomplished SO much, then I stop and re-evaluate what I've really done all day, and it's like shoot, wait.

I mean, it's more homework than I've done lately, and the day is only - I would say - 60 percent done. I've got plenty of time to keep going.

One week and a bit:

Due: 3 papers, 1 project.

Progress Report: 1/3 papers started, project...ideas: check.

Back to work.

I end most nights by lying in bed on my laptop looking at blogs, or going through tumblr - which are blogs too. Hahaha, pretty lame. Just kidding, i love it.

I saw this quote tonight, really liked it. I don't know why, but I do. Really, Really.

"I suppose I’m a little bit scared. You might not like it that I felt so much for him. But that was then. You are here now, you make me and define me. It’s over after all but he’s still a part of me. And I want you to know all about it, so there are no secrets."

I just read a whole bunch of old blog posts on my private blog. (heh heh)

I remembered why I like blogging.

It's quite the journey seeing how you've changed and how things have changed. Not to mention, it's nice being able to relive some things. It's funny because I remember some posts of vividly and where I was when I wrote it.

Yeah, thats it.

Goodnight

nostalgia x2

I've spent the last 2.5 hours (probably) looking at old pics from grade 11/ 12.

I've been feelin' pretty nostalgic these days. I've used that word a lot these last couple of days cause I just found the definition for it recently. Actually, I think I was reminded of the word...and it related. Anyways, that's not important, hahaha.

I just miss it.

Not because it was easier, even though that's true.

Not necessarily because it was in fh, although that's true too.

I don't know why.

Maybe it's not little things I miss but everything as a whole.

Just all of us being together, and carefree days.

I miss the pod, and uniforms.

I do miss the little things too. Like classes of less than 30 students, the community.

I don't know why I do this to myself....hahaha.

Seriously, like my tweet said...

One day, when I'm grown up, I'm going to get married, move back to fh, have kids and send them to PA. Thumbs up.

Goodnight.

PS. Guess what?

FOUR MORE MONDAYS, suckas!

Decisions.

Nothing's been happening lately, so I guess that's why my blogs have been lacking. However, I think this is post worthy.

I really, really think I'm going to transfer out. I can't do communications anymore. I've thought and thought and thought (and prayed of course) about it soooo much. Probably this whole semester - for some insight as to what I'm going to do with school, and life. I had no answers, except that I KNEW I probably couldn't survive communications for four years. It's not that it's hard, which it is...but it would be one thing if it were hard, and I LOVED it, which I don't. If I did, sure, it would be hard, but at least I'd have a passion for it, right? But I don't. At all.

I went into communications because I liked that it was broad and it seemed like it would at least help out in the business aspect of things in that...you study how people communicate right? I figured, hey as far as entrepreneurial skills go, that'd probably be really beneficial. But so far, my feelings and outlook towards it have gone from bad to worse. It's just not for me. To say I hate it...would be too strong of a word. However, "dislike" is simply not enough. I don't enjoy it, and I don't have a passion for it.

I don't want people to think that I'm giving up so early in the game, which in some ways I am. But it's not BECAUSE it's hard, but because I think it's one of those things I just KNOW won't work out.

Design.

Like I mentioned before, I've never been the best at school. I've always just been pretty mediocre at school. Also, I hate math. I like hands on subjects. I like creativity. I've always liked English and History. I've always liked reading and writing. You know how some people are academically inclined? Yeah. I'm not. I wouldn't say I'm stupid, because I don't think I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a genius either. Again, I'm pretty average.

I think of design, and it excites me. That's so weird to say, but it does. Yes, I know. I've been reminded that the grass is always greener on the other side. But even going into communications, I was doing it because I was unsure of what else to go into. I never pursued design because I wasn't sure of the career path afterwards. But the more I thought about it....how's communications ANY better? REALLY, how is writing about Facebook, and advertising going to help ME in any way? It may be for some people out there, but not for me.

I figure...if I'm going to put hard work into something, it might as well be something I'm going to enjoy.

I know I don't have a background in it, but I KNOW me. I know I('d) like it.

But I'm also scared. Scared because this is a big decision.

SFU is safe, you know? It's four years, I take my time and I'm surrounded by (some) friends.

This is me, on my own. Making a decision on my own.

I'm scared I won't be good at it.

I just can't believe I'm doing this.

But I want to so bad.

Alright, see ya later.