Decisions.

Nothing's been happening lately, so I guess that's why my blogs have been lacking. However, I think this is post worthy.

I really, really think I'm going to transfer out. I can't do communications anymore. I've thought and thought and thought (and prayed of course) about it soooo much. Probably this whole semester - for some insight as to what I'm going to do with school, and life. I had no answers, except that I KNEW I probably couldn't survive communications for four years. It's not that it's hard, which it is...but it would be one thing if it were hard, and I LOVED it, which I don't. If I did, sure, it would be hard, but at least I'd have a passion for it, right? But I don't. At all.

I went into communications because I liked that it was broad and it seemed like it would at least help out in the business aspect of things in that...you study how people communicate right? I figured, hey as far as entrepreneurial skills go, that'd probably be really beneficial. But so far, my feelings and outlook towards it have gone from bad to worse. It's just not for me. To say I hate it...would be too strong of a word. However, "dislike" is simply not enough. I don't enjoy it, and I don't have a passion for it.

I don't want people to think that I'm giving up so early in the game, which in some ways I am. But it's not BECAUSE it's hard, but because I think it's one of those things I just KNOW won't work out.

Design.

Like I mentioned before, I've never been the best at school. I've always just been pretty mediocre at school. Also, I hate math. I like hands on subjects. I like creativity. I've always liked English and History. I've always liked reading and writing. You know how some people are academically inclined? Yeah. I'm not. I wouldn't say I'm stupid, because I don't think I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a genius either. Again, I'm pretty average.

I think of design, and it excites me. That's so weird to say, but it does. Yes, I know. I've been reminded that the grass is always greener on the other side. But even going into communications, I was doing it because I was unsure of what else to go into. I never pursued design because I wasn't sure of the career path afterwards. But the more I thought about it....how's communications ANY better? REALLY, how is writing about Facebook, and advertising going to help ME in any way? It may be for some people out there, but not for me.

I figure...if I'm going to put hard work into something, it might as well be something I'm going to enjoy.

I know I don't have a background in it, but I KNOW me. I know I('d) like it.

But I'm also scared. Scared because this is a big decision.

SFU is safe, you know? It's four years, I take my time and I'm surrounded by (some) friends.

This is me, on my own. Making a decision on my own.

I'm scared I won't be good at it.

I just can't believe I'm doing this.

But I want to so bad.

Alright, see ya later.