What's your story?

Sometimes, I sit and read my old blog entries from 2008 (hahah, pardon the nerdiness of this sentence..) and I feel like I've become less insightful, and that upsets me very much. I used to be the type of person who would just have to write about all these things that I was learning..and now, I have nothing to write about. It makes me wonder, have I become shallow? Straight up, this worries me. The fact that I say straight up, and love it, worries me. That's okay though. I like being G. ..Not the point.

Well today, I was talking to a friend of mine, and we were talking about another group of friends (in a none gossipy way, I promise..) and how they live this certain way...and she said, "change them then." and I said, "I can't change them." Then, I realized, I'm scared. I'm scared to put myself out there, where do I even start? I guess, looking back on it now, I've always tried the easy route, of leading my example..that whole, "..if necessary, use words." kinda dealie. I learned at youth one time that that's not necessarily the right mentality. Words are necessary.

This is going to sound very Martin Luther King Jr. - ish, but this year, I want to make a difference. How? I don't really know exactly. Actually, I don't even know what it means yet. But I will, and when I do, I'll let you know.

A part of me thinks, who am I to even think that I have the right to do this?

I don't know the answer to that either. I'm just Joanne. Anyways, point is, it's the last year of high school - something that I constantly have to remind myself of - and I don't want it to be just like any other year. I hate the fact that I've become apathetic to a lot of things. That's not like me at all.

Also...hmm, I think what I really want to do is get to know people better...everyone has a story. That's definitely something I'm learning. It's really to maintain outward appearances..as he walks down the hallway, you'd never know that his heart is breaking, or that she deals with more than anyone should ever have to deal with. That...there's really more to him than meets the eye, or that she's struggling with a lot of things right now.

It breaks my heart to know that I've spent almost 7 years with a lot of these people, and even at least 2 years with my closest friends, and I couldn't tell you half the things I would like to be able to. And yet, there's other people that I've known for two weeks that I feel closer to. Relationships are funny that way...I think it all just takes time. I've got time. I've got a year at least. I want to hear people's story...and maybe, by doing so, I can share mine.

--This was from another friend last night, thanks R.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

--1 Timothy 4:12