friends yo

i feel like i am terrible at keeping up with friends. i feel so terrible and sad about it...but i find it SO hard to keep up a good relationship with A LOT of people all at once for some reason. like..i like to focus a lot of time into friendships..aka tell that person EVERYTHING and talk to them twenty-fo-seven. not literally, but i get really close to a few people at times, and that's it. and then...i lose other friendships because i lose focus on those friendships - unintentionally - when i don't have as much contact with them. i'm a talker and i need to constantly be talking to people, if not..then it sort of just fizzles. i need contact in my life! no, not physical necessarily, ha-ha. just keeding. anyways, yeah. i just lost my train of thought in the process of coming up with that lame attempt at a joke. sigh. oh, YES, i remembered! but yeahh, like usually, i find that i can't have friends, (or even like guys for that matter), when i can't talk to them. like talk TALK, you know? except..they gotta be able to just be quiet too. 'cause...yeah, i like a mix. anyways, i'll stop now.
point was, i miss the friends that i was SUPER taaaiiight with like 2 months ago...and yet, during that time, i missed the friendships that i was letting slip away, and now...i'm back to those..and i miss the others...do you see this cycle?! YEAH, i know. stressful.
okay, me and melissa are screensharing. and she's creeping me out so i'll stop typing this now.

PS. i was typing this..and i made this REALLY great joke about melissa farting, and (as i type this she is singing fergalicious LOL) anyways, as i was making this really really great joke about her farting, it wouldnt work and it kept messing up my blog! srsly, it was a crazy experience. its like my blog loves her more than me..for cereal where is the loyalty.

oh my, my ears hurt. dont ever ask melissa to "sing" fergalicious for you, really. and now she's laughing hysterically. trust me, if you could hear it, you wouldn't be laughing.

(oh, and hi ryan)